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The Evolution of My Soul

To become greater than yourself you have to become more than what you think you were. Who are we really?

My flesh lives in fear although my soul simultaneously lives in hope. Entrapped by social fears and financial restraint, I am free to do anything.

Beauty within reach yet so far away. I am in love, but self loathe. I feel uneasy in my own skin. Pain curbs my will and my flesh steals my might. I want to be free, to feel at one.

I proclaim I am clear minded and worry free, yet I ponder after every interaction “am I good enough” “could I do better” for the world, other people, myself and for this life?!

I question myself. Am I trying too hard to fit in? Is it wrong to be better than I was yesterday, to question myself, my motivations and morals? To be more than I was?

Broken throughout time, and yet unjustifiably pieced together with it, I believe there is more to just existing.

Unequivocally irreversibly enlightened. I have more layers than the proverbial onion. Try peeling them back, you may well cry.

My soul yearns for more. I am stuck within four walls and a shell. My body, my home. Life.

Like a caterpillar I await transcendence within my cocoon. I am just waiting to fly.

ML MALTA 2020

Love you

When you’ve been hurt for a long time, many people struggle to know love, to trust and to give more of yourself. You hide behind the walls of your mind and your home. You hide behind other people, yet feel completely alone. You hope to be saved, but struggle to know who you are and if you even can be? Abuse is not your identity, neither is it of the victim. You didn’t ask to be treated less than you deserve, you didn’t sign up for this. Someone hurt you out of their hurt. You have probably hurt people out of your hurt. It doesn’t matter how good you think you are, you are human and broken people struggle to do normal. What is normal, no one really knows, social constructs aren’t always clear cut.

We have this idea that everyone else has their lives perfectly planned out, that they have the perfect families and relationships. That they have a bunch of friends and that they’re never lonely. That is not true, everyone has a journey, everyone has struggled along their journey. We often compare our journeys. Who has had it worse, had more trouble, fought more battles, who’s better? But why, it isn’t a competition? You exist for something greater. You exist to become more than a sum of your past experiences. You exist to be present NOW, to continue to grow and develop beyond your mind. You are not to be imprisoned – especially by the very person who should love you. Yourself.

Beyond everything and everybody you need to ground yourself in truth and in love. Not by the lies we have told ourselves to cope and not by the facades we create to fit in with the wrong crowds. Examine your motives for why you do what you, how you live, how you think, and how you treat other people including your family. Do you harm yourself unnecessarily? If you have unresolved resentment you will have problems with anger. If you feel unworthy and ugly, or just not good enough for anything or any body, you’ve probably been abused and rejected. If you lack confidence, you have probably been mocked and made ashamed. Look inward, find yourself. Don’t relive your hurts and get stuck in your thought’s.

Focus on the person inside. The one you know that is in there, hiding. The one that cries out to be seen. The one that aches to love and live freely. The one that isn’t afraid of being seen. When you find them, shine the light in the darkness and do whatever you can to set them free. Believe again. Have hope. You need to meet yourself and let go of the vein of existence you have held so tightly to. Fear is not your master, stand on the head of the snake with your heel and walk boldly into your future. You are strong, you’ve got this. Love you.

©2021 ML Malta

Nothing is impossible!

You are more than you think you can be. Don’t let life defeat you and push you down so low that you struggle to get back up! If you are on the ground it is time to realise your worth. You are amazing and can bounce back. No weapon formed against you can prosper. You may get kicked down but you are always strong enough to get back up and refuse to be punished for your mistakes or wrong judgement in people. You are more than a conquer. Today is a new day and you can start over right Now!

©2021 Inspiredaholic

You can’t have me!

Standing in the shadows with my identity torn, wishing often for my life to be unborn. People tried to take me, wanted to break me, pull at my soul and shame me. Never knowing that I am stronger. I will always fight back.

I may be down, I may get knocked out, but rest assured I’ll bounce right back. You cannot destroy the good in me or God in me.

You cannot take my life and flesh and call it your own. I was a child but now I’ve grown.

I am stronger and I am older, forever bolder because of God in me, not you.

Please don’t take credit you do not deserve. I am free to live as I choose, I am free to rise and free to fall. My choices decide how I live and how I die. I will not give you credit for my demise. I am worthy. I will survive.

Created and born to stand for all, this life I chose is mine not yours. Your toxic delusions, I’ve buried them all.

On a rock I stand. My heart beats for my I AM. There is nothing in this world that can make me fall. Stop thinking you’ve had my all.

©ML Malta 2021

Unbroken

It is easy to self loathe, many do it daily without even thinking about it. How about we start loving ourselves and defining ourselves by the choices we make from now on. There is true strength and beauty within us all, that needs to be acknowledged and celebrated. ML

“Love yourself with more intensity than you did to hate.” ML Malta

Still There

I’m still here. I am lost within myself, but I am still here. I cannot express my truth, but I am still here.

I cannot recall things or people, but I am still here. I cannot be independent and my body doesn’t listen, but I am still here.

I am not the person I was or that you remember, but I am still here. I feel as though I am not me anymore, but I know, am still here.

I forget, yet I am not to be forgotten. I still feel and see, touch and breathe. My words and actions do not make sense to you or to me, but I’m still here.

Please do not forget me while I’m trapped within my walls. I am still here.


– ML Malta

Learning to Fly

“I’m very grateful for the way life has turned around. That bad people don’t stay and that good ones do. Though it has never been easy, I’m grateful for the life lessons, wisdom and understanding that comes from falling, because without it I would never have learnt to fly.” – ML Malta

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