When you’ve been hurt for a long time, many people struggle to know love, to trust and to give more of yourself. You hide behind the walls of your mind and your home. You hide behind other people, yet feel completely alone. You hope to be saved, but struggle to know who you are and if you even can be? Abuse is not your identity, neither is it of the victim. You didn’t ask to be treated less than you deserve, you didn’t sign up for this. Someone hurt you out of their hurt. You have probably hurt people out of your hurt. It doesn’t matter how good you think you are, you are human and broken people struggle to do normal. What is normal, no one really knows, social constructs aren’t always clear cut.
We have this idea that everyone else has their lives perfectly planned out, that they have the perfect families and relationships. That they have a bunch of friends and that they’re never lonely. That is not true, everyone has a journey, everyone has struggled along their journey. We often compare our journeys. Who has had it worse, had more trouble, fought more battles, who’s better? But why, it isn’t a competition? You exist for something greater. You exist to become more than a sum of your past experiences. You exist to be present NOW, to continue to grow and develop beyond your mind. You are not to be imprisoned – especially by the very person who should love you. Yourself.
Beyond everything and everybody you need to ground yourself in truth and in love. Not by the lies we have told ourselves to cope and not by the facades we create to fit in with the wrong crowds. Examine your motives for why you do what you, how you live, how you think, and how you treat other people including your family. Do you harm yourself unnecessarily? If you have unresolved resentment you will have problems with anger. If you feel unworthy and ugly, or just not good enough for anything or any body, you’ve probably been abused and rejected. If you lack confidence, you have probably been mocked and made ashamed. Look inward, find yourself. Don’t relive your hurts and get stuck in your thought’s.
Focus on the person inside. The one you know that is in there, hiding. The one that cries out to be seen. The one that aches to love and live freely. The one that isn’t afraid of being seen. When you find them, shine the light in the darkness and do whatever you can to set them free. Believe again. Have hope. You need to meet yourself and let go of the vein of existence you have held so tightly to. Fear is not your master, stand on the head of the snake with your heel and walk boldly into your future. You are strong, you’ve got this. Love you.
©2021 ML Malta